i fucked up

Estelle. 18. I like who I like, what you identify as or identify with doesn't bother me.

I'm in the midst of exploring my sense of self, my sexuality and the world around me in an attempt to settle my mind and feel like I have a purpose in this world.

Suffering from: depression, anorexia/EDNOS, social anxiety, self harm etc.

CW: 140 GW: 95 UGW: 85

my hair feels fucking amazing after using my new shampoo and conditioner holy shit it’s so soft and smooth

Anonymous asked: Agate, blue quartz, fluorite, garnet, golden calcite, hessonite, kyanite, quartz crystal, tiger's eye and turquoise

Agate: I see myself as this weird anomaly in the world. I’m full of contradictions and I don’t feel quite like I’ve found my place in the world yet.

Blue Quartz: 1. My cats TJ and Daisy. I love to pieces and I don’t know what I would do without those furballs in my life.
2. Watching a film that I can be engrossed in fully. Like most films I watch I only pay attention to half of what’s going on. But occasionally I’ll be watching a movie that is so interesting and so engrossing that I have to watch all of it. Every last second of it.
3. A well made cup of earl grey tea. Earl grey is one of my favourite kinds of tea and I just get so happy when I make a cup that just tastes so perfect.
4. Reading a good, well written book that has a great plot, character development and such.
5. Sleeping.

Fluorite: Losing weight and getting fitter mainly. I have to be a size 8 by Christmas so I can fit in one of my dresses for my show.

Garnet: I’ve been quite down and quick to be angry lately. I’m also nearly constantly tired but that’s not an emotion.

Golden calcite: Physically, I’m healing from some really bad bruising on my knees thanks to ‘Our House’ which is kind of getting worse due to the routines I’ve been learning for a show at Halloween. Emotionally, I’m trying to cope with the fact that my dad pretty much doesn’t care about me anymore and has no respect for mine and my mothers belongings that are still in the old house.

Hessonite: 1. To be a size 6-8 by Christmas.
2. To save up enough money to go travelling around Europe with Tash within the next couple of years.

Kyanite: There isn’t really one person in particular who has taught me what I know. It’s been a combination of my family, my friends and people I admire and follow online.

Quartz crystal: Tash and my mom.

Tiger’s eye: My dad moving out of the house and me then only being able to see him once a week if that.

Turquoise: I’ve learnt that family is something that you chose, not something that is defined by blood relations.

somebody shoot me in the head maybe then I’ll get some fucking sleep


I used to be like “I wonder what would happen if I set this thing on fire” and since then I’ve learned that more often than not the answer is “it’ll be on fire”

(Source: bauks, via zanah0dia)


girls are SOOOO pretty i wish boys could take a hint and pick up their fucking game. get some eye liner you hillbilly cavemen

(via zanah0dia)


Becoming a cold hearted bitch wasn’t really what I planned to do with my life but here I am

(via zanah0dia)

Hobo chic is my forte #selfie #gpoy #myface #hobochic

Hobo chic is my forte #selfie #gpoy #myface #hobochic

A woman is only vulnerable when her nail polish is drying, and even then she can still pull a trigger.

—some great quote I heard somewhere once upon a time and that is very, very true (via traffic-jam-session)

(Source: yoegert, via de-press-ing)


Core Strength
Tone It Up Tighten & Tone Your Abs video
Pop Pilates Flat Abs Challenge video
Pop Pilates 3 Minute Ab Challenge video
Thighs and Butts
Pop Pilates Slimming Inner Thighs & Calves video
Pop Pilates Inner Thigh Insanity video
Pop Pilates Saddlebag Shaver video
Pop Pilates Standing Pilates for Legs, Butt & Obliques video
Pop Pilates Butt Blaster video
BodyRock 300 Squats Challenge
Skinny Yoga Girl Legs & Butt Workout
Your Whole Body
Tone It Up Arms, Abs, and Legs Pyramid video
Pop Pilates Till The World Ends video
Pop Pilates Summer Slimdown Part 1 and Part 2
Bodyrock I’m Into You Workout video
Skinny Yoga Girl 1000 Rep Workout
Skinny Yoga Girl Full Body Cardio & Strength Workout
Skinny Yoga Girl Burning Body Workout
Strictly Yoga
Beginner Yoga 20 minute video
Hurts So Good Power Yoga 95 minute video
Blissed Flow Yoga 90 minute
Sun Salutations video
Sun Salutations 2 video
Hip Stretches
Tara Stiles Bend It Like Tara
40m Yoga weight loss  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
Yoga Fitness Plus 45 minute video 
Yoga Sculpt30 minute video
Yoga Fitness Fusion 45 minute video
Try Some Zumba:
Cardio Party
Bikini Bod Time
Bikini Abs & Thighs
Sandcastle Workout
Bikini Blast Circuit Workout
Tone It Up Itty Bitty Bikini video
Tone It Up Bikini Beach Bum video
Tone It Up Bikini Abs & Thighs video
Tone It Up Sandcastle Workout video
Tone It Up Bikini Body Workout with Self Magazine!
Tone It Up Bikini Blast Circuit Workout video
Tone It Up Bikini Body Workout with Self Magazine!
Flat Abs Challenge
3 Minute Ab Challenge
Slimming Inner Thighs & Calves
Inner Thigh Insanity
Saddlebag Shaver
Standing Pilates for Legs, Butt & Obliques
Butt Blaster
Sexy Workouts: 
Aerobic Striptease
In the Bedroom (don’t even need to get out of bed)
“Body Rock”
Cardio Part 1
Cardio Part 2
Cardio Part 3
Cardio Part 4
BodyRock.tv Hot Body Workout 
BodyRock.tv 4 Minute Workout
BodyRock.tv Hardest Workout
BodyRock.tv Hard Bodies Getting Harder Workout
BodyRock.tv 6 Minute Workout video
BodyRock.tv Run The World Workout video
BodyRock.tv Hot Attack video
Chest and Back/Ab Ripper X
Legs and Back
Cardio X
Kenpo X
Shoulders and Arms
Core Synergetics
Stretch X
Chest, Shoulder, and Triceps
Back and Biceps
Fit Test
Plyometric Cardio Circuit
Cardio Power & Resistance
Cardio Recovery
Pure Cardio
Cardio Abs
Core Cardio & Balance
Max Interval Circuit
Max Interval Plyo
Max Cardio Conditioning
Max Recovery
Insane Abs
Max Interval Sports Training
Upper Body Weight Training


Core Strength

Thighs and Butts

Your Whole Body

Strictly Yoga

Try Some Zumba:

Bikini Bod Time


Sexy Workouts: 

“Body Rock”



(via benjamin-bunnyslut)

My hips are out of control man #selfie #gpoy #myhipsdontlie #hahasongreference #imcool #bighips #random

My hips are out of control man #selfie #gpoy #myhipsdontlie #hahasongreference #imcool #bighips #random


I’m just a needy piece of shit that needs constant reassurance that I’m wanted

(via littlepancake)